MONDAY 12th JULY

Got a few things, last arrangements to do before tomorrow. It still does not seem real that Marie has passed away. That Bill is without his wife and Neil and his brothers are without their mum and the kids (all the grandchildren) are without their nanna.

The funeral will be the most difficult on Tuesday morning. I was going to do a reading at the Mass but think I would not be able to stand in front of the whole church and the coffin (which will be at the front) and not cry.

It's 1am early Tuesday morning and I can't sleep. R has been getting upset again about some of the girls in her class and how horrid they are all being, we are so glad she is moving class in September, I wish I could help her more and could make her feel better. I do try.

It's been a very long day/evening. We had to go and see the Deacon of the Church tonight and spoke to him about Marie, the sort of person she was, about her life etc. Tomorrow will be the most difficult day.

Ate a load of chocolate earlier, must try and eat properly and get my blood sugars back to better levels. Feel very very stressed and so does Neil, stress is horrid and even worse when mixed with grief.

 Wed 14th July

First day back at work, it went ok. In the early evening Neil and I went for a walk round the lake in the rain and it was thundering too. The kids sat in the car (lazy things!). I did have some curly fries for tea. Must stop the junk food eating as it has been AGES since I have done any cooking. Neil starts his 12 week weight management course tomorrow. Tomorrow I am going to get back on track and eat healthier, I so need to.