Monday 31st May 2010

Weight - 10 st 8.5 lbs (148.5 lbs)
Loss - half a pound
Lbs lost so far - 5
Lbs to lose - about 28

Lost half a pound this week, better than nothing but still no as good as it should be.

Am stressed. Neil and I are both stressed, wish we weren't. It's all the business of nursing homes and decisions and how Neil's dad is (very anxious and totally totally in a state). I dread the phone ringing. I know things will work out ok. I hope Neils dad will improve. His mum is as well as she can be and I am sure she will settle well into the home.
There is a lot of angst. I didn't want to be so uptight and stressed on my week off but we all are. Neil's job situation is still the same (ie there are no bloody jobs out there and he hasn't even had ONE interview). I don't know how long we can carry on as we are with only my wage coming in. Don't wanna moan on here (web site) but sometimes it get me down so much and is worse seeing how bad Neil is too.

The clouds are out and the sun has gone in and it even look like it might rain, bloody typical Bank Holiday. We are going out for a few hours soon, I think, we said we'd take Neil's dad out for an hour or so (the kids will stay at home). Gotta ring him in half an hour to see if he wants to go. Then we have to go to the hospital tonight for visiting. I know we need to take Neil's dad to see her every day but sometimes day in day out it is well, very stressful. Stressful listening to all Neil's dads worries and paranoia's and the constant phone calls going over the same stuff and well..........what matters is that we are there for him to help and support him but sometimes just sometimes it all gets a bit too much.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO less snacking this week, less emotional eating, more exercise (maybe I'll get on the Wii Fit and the treadmill?!) and just maybe we can get some walking done too.

Me in my summery dress today, my sister gave me this dress and I love it. And I got this little cropped cardy ages ago and have never worn it.
Don't look too far here do I? Wish I was happier with how I looked but unfortunately I am not, makes me so miserable being overweight. So here I am wanting to lose about say 28 lbs thereabouts (or 22 lbs minimum). Not a lot to lose is it? Should be fairly easy eh? Just cut down in the unhealthy stuff, keep away from the alcohol (hey, I haven't had any wine or any alcohol for almost 3 weeks, how good is that!) I just want to get under 10 st to begin with (under 140 lbs) and I know I will feel so much better then and then slowly make my way under 130 lbs (9 st).

OMG I have not had such a laugh in ages!!!!
Neil and I went to Tesco (supermarket) after taking Neil's dad out, we'd dropped him at home and gone to the shop. We were awhile in the shop. J rang to ask how long would we be cos he wants me to go bowling with him and R later.
We got to the car and Neil said cos the amp (from the studio yesterday) is in the boot that we'd put the shopping on the back seat. So we opened the doors and HUH? There was 2 guitars on the floor between the front and back seats. Neil said "How did they get there, they weren't there before when we took dad out"?
I said "Whatever, just put the shopping on the seat and let's get home"
Then we heard a voice saying "Dad, yoo hoo dad"
we were looking around and thought maybe J had come to the shop in grandads car to meet us there? No sign of him. Must say I was a bit scared!!!!
Neil opened the boot

Then we spotted (several cars away) R in her grandads car laughing her head off!!!!!!!!!!!
J said he got funny looks when he was getting into the boot of the car and asking R to shut the boot on him!!!!!
I still keep laughing when I think of it now!!!!!!!

Some pics from our little trip out earlier

Thornton Hough
One of the churches at Thornton Hough
Me by the Church
Thornton Hough again
Hadlow Station

8pm - feel down.Checked bank and we have 0 in it and I only just got paid too and don't get paid till the end of June now. Bloody fecking dole office are crap and only allow Neil £19 a week for us all. He is looking for contract work but nothing coming up at all, hasn't even had one interview. Why are things never easy? We're supposed to be going away for one night but now we really shouldn't, Neil's waiting for a small invoice to be paid tomorrow (if it gets paid). Ok so we're crap at managing the bit of money we do have, always have been. Sodding sodding hell.
Am cross, angry, fed up , down, feel sick and wanns cry. Things aren't hunky dorey - things are shit and I just bloody well wanted to moan and feel sorry for myself. I hate that we have no money, I hate that I feel stressed and worn out every day, I hate that we seem to make a mess of things, I hate the stupid house, the stupid garden and everything. And I'm bloody paying each week to help me lose weight and hardly losing a fecking ounce, I can't even do that right.

Sorry for the big moan.

11.30pm. It's going to rain in the morning apparently. Am going out to the park with J and J and R and a few others. Time for bed now, think I'll give R a big cuddle and read to her for a while (cos she's still awake). Was very bad tonight and ate 2 big bowls of cereal, least I had skim milk!

Well, will be morning soon, hope I feel better then.

 Tuesday 1st June

Rain rain and more rain. Well, we can't go to the park, well, we could if we all had wellies! So we have decided to all meet at the Liverpool Museum (it's free to get in). J has already gone to pick up J and her brother and sister and R and I will meet them at 11am at the museum.
Had a healthy breakfast of strawberries and raspberries and yogurt.

1st Pic 11th Feb 2002
10st 12 lbs (152 lbs)
A very long way from fastening here. (My stomach is on the left!)

2nd pic 9th Aug 2002
9st 11 lbs (137 lbs)
Getting closer, the top of the zip nearly meets.

3rd pic 15th Nov 2002
9 st 5 lbs (131 lbs)
Only 6 lbs difference from when I last tried the skirt on...but now it fastens easily, although I have not lost that many pounds perhaps my body shape has changed and I have lost more inches off my waist.

Some years ago (well 2002) when I was losing weight with slimming world, I had this skirt that I wanted to be able to fasten comfortably and couldn't. So I took these pics (above) and as you can see I did get into that skirt!

So I thought I'd do that again as an incentive. I have this lovely red currents skirt that is a size 14 and it will not fasten on me at all , so I will take some pics like above untill I can get the skirt on easily!

1st June 2010 - Weight (10 st 8.5 lbs) 148.5 lbs
A very long way from fastening!
Can' wait till the next pic!!!!!!

It was an o day I guess. Went to the Museum in the morning, had lunch in a cafe with everyone. Came home and had a sleep as was v tired. That's about it really. Ate some cereal in the evening as was hungry. Must watch what I am eating over the next 5 days as I have had too many syns (what we are allowed on SW). Have had very little exercise too apart from traipsing round Liverpool today. No plans for tomorrow as such cept cleaning and tidying and if I have the energy (the treadmill). Gotta go see Neil's mum in hosp in the afternoon. Will go dancing tomorrow night for 2 hours too.

 Wed 2nd June 2010

Neil and I have been blitzing J's room (what a task!). R has gone out with friends and J is helping J and her family at their cafe. Nice and sunny out, should go for a walk really. Think I will have fruit for lunch.

I didn't have just fruit, I ended up having a baguette and cream cheese and onion, very nice. It's so nice out, I feel we ought to go out, but well, am tired and Neil is going back to the hospital later (we all went this afternoon). And can I really be bothered going dancing tonight? Not really. I might go, I dunno. Though Neil will be at the hospital till 8pm then he will nbeed to go to h is dads and since dancing starts 8pm - there you go, not so easy. Or am I just making excuses?

We are setting off pretty early in the morning, looking forward to that.

 Sunday 6th June 2010

We have a little puppy, J brought him home, he needed a home (he was free to a good home). J has called him Buster

Here are a few pics

Fast asleep upside down on my arm
Fast asleep in his makeshift box (he sleeps a lot)
Playing with R.

He is about 8 or 9 weeks old apparently. We are getting him a puppy play pen and a new bed. He has one more set of jabs to go so it will be a while before we can take him out for walks.
I grew up with dogs though Neil never had a dog and this is the first dog we have had (we did have a cat a few years ago but sadly she died of feline leukaemia, we miss her still. I am hoping the puppy settles well and is happy. Any tips greatly appreciated, thanks!