Monday 8th March
HAve I just eaten too much to have a weight loss this week??? Must say am v bloated and my clothes are tighter - damn! Ah well.
Neil, me and the kids are now starting our half an hour a day walking, it started yesterday (though J didn't come along). SO tomorrow after school we are going to do the half an hour round the Lake EVERY DAY whatever the weather!
YES WHATEVER THE WEATHER!
I want a healthy heart and I want Neil and J and R to have healthy hearts and that means regular EXERCISE.We are not going to be couch potatos NO. J and R will go for long walks though it may take some nagging but once they get out theere they DO enjoy it which is nice. They always say when we get back home that they enjoyed the walk. Neither of them is lazy (ok R would prefer to read 24/7 but once out they don't moan even when it's pouring down! We've had some fun walks in the wind and rain! Try walking round an exposed Lake when it's blowing a gale and raining! I am the one who usually gives in and runs to the car and J and R and Neil just laugh and carry on!!!!

WOW Neil got weighed this morning and has lost 8 lbs in one week - how great is that on Slim Fast. WELL DONE.
ME, well I gained half a pound, oooooops. I will so have a good week this week.

Well, J went out for a drive with friends tonight, in the DARK. He was ok, did fine.
Work tomorrow (boo hoo). Not in the mood (am I ever?). Had a moan before but deleted it. Don't like moaning on here, well, much!

 Tuesday 9th March

PArt of the kitchen, this is the little corner that will have lots of pics and nic-naks on it eventually!
How sunny the kitchen looked yesterday, it was so nice.
My new mini glass chopping board!
My new (well, 2nd hand from a Charity SHop) cookie jar - empty at the moment! It is so tempting to fill it with goodies and chocolate biscuits but I know I will be tempted!
Some little pink candle holders I got from Home and Bargain at 29p each. Brilliant
Me sitting by the sunny window in the kitchen yesterday.
This is a picture that was my aunty Nellies, she had 2 of these that had been on her walls since I was little. She gave one away and I got this one, it has been in the attic but I thought it just went with the kitchen so now it is on the kitchen wall. Might need reframing, not sure?

Well, I have been very good on food today, really I have. Which is great. Ok, we did not do our half hour walk but we will get there, soon!!!!!!

 Wedbesday 10th March

Am so trying not to get too totally stressed over Neil not being able to get a job. Being on Social Security benefit totally SUCKS. It is a hole we simply cannot get out of until Neil gets a job. We have no way of 'making' more money cos they just take it off you. I am trying not to stress but I can feel myself getting more and more down and stressed each day. Neil is desperately trying not to get depressed and hang onto sanity. The amount of bloody forms you have to continually fill in for all the different people is ridiculous. We cannot get any extra help until June/July (eg extra being free school meals, free dental for Neil etc), nor are we currently getting amy help with mortgage, rent, council tax etc). Neil is applying for jobs every week but nothing is coming up, he is doing a course (home study) to update skills so hopefully when this is done (the exams) and he is Microsoft Professional Certified, then this will help with jobs. Difficult to believe that he has been a computer consultant for almost 20 years and cannot get a job. My job pays very little and doesn't matter even if I managed to get another job alongside this one, well they would decrease our benefits (when we get any) and so we would be no better off. I am sorry but I can totally see why people might work and get paid cash in hand and not declare it. If Neil does not get a job I don't know how things will EVER improve - they can't.

Don't mean to go on, I just felt like having a moan. I am trying not to be stressed really I am, it is not easy though. We are going on holiday for easter thanks to a super bargain that we paid for last year but in reality we should not go cos we barely have the money for food while we are away - haha will have to eat crap cheap food for 2 weeks. Isn't it stupid how you can eat cheaply, you can, but it is usually CRAP foods cos the healthy ones are bloody expensive. I would not choose to buy cheap anything (meats etc) cos it's crap and not good for you. Places like Iceland and farm foods that sell foods for £1 are all CRAP CRAP CRAP, foods that will most definately give you a heart attact. Feed a family for a fiver - yeah on CRAP FOOD. Ah well, that is another moan for another day!!!

Arghghg - feel better now NOT! Am going dancing tonight for 2 hours (yeah £3.50) bloody should not be going, should be saving the money. Bloody bloody hell. Pissing hell, fecking hell. FECK FECK FECK.
SORRY!

 Thursday 11th March 2010

Have been doing so well on my food and my blood sugars have improved over the last few days so I must keep this up. It is tempting when you get to the evening to scoff stuff and why do I always watch cookery programmes in the evening, this does not help!!!!

I have written down each day what I have eaten, I have tried to have a more balanced diet, though is is easy to eat the same things day in day out. Today people in work went for lunch to the hospital restuarant but I did not go (lack of money) plus I had brought along my lunch of jacket potato, tomatoes and red fat cheese with fruit and yogurt. I feel most pleased about my blood sugars. I am hoping to go see the diabetic nurse next week and have a chat about how I am doing. I have been so tired this last few days, not quite sure why? Perhaps I am getting old?

Being stressed does take it out of you and I have noticed that my psoriasis has come back. Bugger. Perhaps I ought to get my relaxation cd out and do that each day?
I am so looking forward to our break away really I am, worried obviously cos we have barely any money but looking forward to switching off for 2 weeks.

 SUNDAY 14th MARCH 2010

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

I had a nice night at mum n days Friday night and came home yesterday. Today we are popping up to Neils mum n dads later with some chocolates for mothers day.
I have been ok on diet plan though still need to be that little bit better I suppose. Neil is doing really well sticking to the Slim Fast Plan.

HAHA!!!!!!!

Am just about to start reading Confessions of a Jane Austin Addict

"........Talk about an out-of-body experience. One moment Courtney Stone is a modern-day L.A. career woman lamenting a lost love; the next she is Jane Mansfield, a well-to-do, willowy (though not particularly buxom, unlike her twentieth-century namesake) lady in nineteenth-century England. What could account for this transplant of time and place? Courtney has no opportunity to ruminate over such matters; she must quickly learn to interact with inhabitants of the brave old world in which she finds herself. There's her mother, determined to marry 30-year-old Jane off to handsome Mr. Edgeworth; her artist father, more inclined to his daughter's free-spirited frame of mind; and faithful servant Miss Barnes, who helps her mistress manage everything from chaperones to corsets. (Thank goodness Jane has read Pride and Prejudice more than a dozen times.) It's not long before Jane finds the lines blurred between her two vastly different selves. Like her heroine, debut author Rigler boasts an obsession with the novels of Jane Austen. This frothy take on literary time travel will appeal most to readers well versed in the celebrated author's memorable characters and themes."

I am a huge fan of the series Lost in Austen
"Jemima Rooper stars as Amanda Price, a frustrated romantic who discovers a gateway in her flat to her favourite world - that of Pride and Prejudice. But is the “true” story in danger of being thrown off track by her presence?"I have seen this about 4 times so far and Hmmmm....might watch it again soon as we have it on DVD.

Am not totally looking forward to getting weighed in the morning, unfortunatley. I don't think I have been as good as I should/could have been this week. Haha what's new! Neil on the other hand has stuck to the Slim Fast plan though he admitted he has not been so great with the evening meal really.

Dieting sucks. We need healthier eating and unfortunately to lose weight, foe ME to lose weight I will have to totally watch what I am eating. I cannot eat what I want when I want cos I gain weight or never lose it. I obviously do one of 2 things

Eat too much
Eat the wrong things and most certainly do not get enough regular (ie daily) exercise). My size 16 denim skirt is a little too tight. In some cases I need an 18 in some clothing. 12's and 14's will not go near me (unless stretched!). I see tons of pretty clothes in 12's and 14's and I want to wear them but I CAN'T, am too fat for them. Ah well, time for bed I think as it's midnight.